Hi friends- we are SO excited to start our “Positioning Yourself to Thrive” Series this month which focuses on relationships (singleness, dating & marriage)! We know that culture around us places so many expectations & standards of what each season of our lives should look like. But God’s ways are not our ways. And no matter your situation or what God has called you to in the future- we want to share some ways on how you can Position Yourself to Thrive in your “now” season. Today’s focus? Singleness!
Vanessa Here 💕. I remember one of my favorite trips was about two years ago for my 20th birthday. My two best friends surprised me with a trip to Savannah, Georgia! I was so excited when they told me that we were on our way to Forsyth Park to have a picnic! As we sat down gazing at all the trees and enjoying the spring breeze I looked forward to having uninterrupted best friend time…or so I thought.
Literally the entire picnic they talked about their new dating relationships. Ever been there? haha They went on and on about how much they loved their boyfriends, cute ways their boyfriends romanced them and my level of annoyance grew with every word lol #byefelcia. Both of them happened to start dating the men they knew they would marry at the same time. I however was single as a Pringle and very discontent to be so . I was unable to celebrate the beauty of my season because I was comparing my life to theirs. And I believed the lie that I wasn’t valuable because I was single.
Comparison always seems to find a way in doesnt it? In singleness the culture around us seems to be shouting standards & expectations of what our lives should look like- yet their proclamations always seem to end with an empty, thirsty and pained heart.
“You should be promiscious & explore with as many as you want, you should have your career all figured out by 23, you should be in a relationship or figuring out what is wrong with you if you aren’t”.. etc. etc. etc.
I’m not sure what your Singleness season looks like. What goals and dreams and heart cries you have a hard time guarding from comparison. But we want you to know that whether it’s figuring out who you are as a young woman, praying for your husband, chasing your dreams or battleing a hardship- you do not have to succum to the expectations around you to become successful or live a full life.
We believe that God has a hope and a future for you & He is calling us in our own season of Singleness to take a stand and Position Ourselves to Thrive. How? By staying in our lane and delighing in Him.
Over the course of a lot of honest prayer time with the Lord, He revealed this verse to me:
” Delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” Psalm 37:4
I love this Scripture because it shows God’s heart to give us what we truly need. When I first read this I thought- “Awesome! All I have to do is spend time with Jesus and He will give me all I desire in this season”. Yes that was a long time ago and yes I was wrong. But that’s what I L O V E.
In this Scripture, God is saying that when we d e l i g h t ourselves in Him: when we truly surrender our lives to Him, establish Him as our only foundation & are constantly leaning into Him and pursuing an intimate relationship with Him- we will naturally begin to look more like Him.
In the way we act, react, think & dream. He will begin to shift our heart’s disires to more reflect His heart and will for our lives. Whether it’s changing the beat of our desires to sing “Lord whatever you will, let it be done in me” or giving us specific desires that line up with His will for us.
Delighting in Him allows us to stay in our own lane. Keeping our eyes focused on the journey and process God has asked us to walk through instead of glancing to the side and comparing our single season to someone else’s or culture’s expectations.
When our hearts and minds are delighting and remaining in Him- we begin to know that He has the best in store for us, and He is simply asking us to run our race with Him as our focus.
You were created to Thrive in every season you find yourself in. Each season has a purpose & in the Lord is never in vain. But unless we intentionally position ourselves to thrive- we can find ourselves with constant heavy hearts.
So, friends, throughout your very own Single Season (unique, beautiful & full of purpose) here are some simple steps to Position Yourself to Thrive:
- Stay In Your Lane
- Delight Yourself In Him
- Express Your Heart to the Lord through Prayer (here’s a sample one you can use in times when your heart is heavy):
Dear Heavenly Father,
I come before with an empty heart. Help me Jesus to look at my life and see you. To not walk in comparison but to trust your plan for my life. I thank you Jesus that your promises are yes and amen. I chose today to abide in your love and remind my self that you are for me and in you is all that I need. You know my hopes and dreams and are working things together for my good.
In Jesus name , Amen.
LET’S CHAT BELOW:
In your Single Season, what are some expecations or pressures you feel from the world around you? Do you have a hard time staying in your lane and if so why?! Let’s go deeper together below in the comments!